Fillers

Jill has supplied fillers for Council for World Mission, National Childbirth Trust, Coffee News, Oodlebee, Writer’s News, M.E.N. and The Daily Telegraph. As her style is so light and readable, it is particularly suited to short pieces. Jill prides herself on her ability to provide work of exactly the required length.

In 'plane view...

Anyone peering through the windows of the AVRO assembly hangar on their way home from what must surely have been Woodford's wettest airshow would have spotted that the original I.D. number on the 146 jet inside the workshop, was masked by a board bearing the letters AN-OR-AK.

Was this an insult by one of the engineers or a suggestion as to what to wear?

It's a Fair Cop!

A burglar was caught in record time after sneaking in and stealing the silverware - from a police station. Just after three in the morning the intruder climbed up the wall, in through an open window and in to the first-floor room taking three shields and four trophies - all engraved with the names of Stockport police officers.

"He wouldn't have had a hope of getting rid of them," said DCI Kenny Caldwell, "they were also identified with invisible markers as police property."

The thief triggered security devices and, as the building was full of police officers, they simply stepped outside to meet him as he came back down the wall with his booty.

Well-trained bobby

It was rush hour. It was the middle of summer and a rookie police officer stood in the shade of the canopy at the top of Piccadilly Station approach. Passengers streamed past him as they made their way home.

He became aware of a very agitated old man squeezing through the crowd towards him.

"Officer, officer," gasped the pensioner, "Some workmen are trapped underneath the ground over there!" Pointing dramatically, he led the bobby to a manhole several yards away. A British Telecom van was parked nearby, glinting in the sun. It was obviously unmanned. Feeling a little self-conscious, the lad bent down and called out: "Are you OK, mate?" There was no reply. Swift action was called for. The old man stood guard whilst the officer dashed through the station to the worksheds, where he managed to obtain a crowbar. As he levered away at the manhole, a small crowd gathered to watch.

At last, the lid was raised... to reveal a six-inch deep duct full of telephone wires. As the bobby stood up, the pensioner backed away.

"What made you think there was anyone trapped under there?" said the bobby through gritted teeth.

"God told me…"